The people I want are very famous and very rich, and all I can offer them is a bit of exposure on TV and a bit of cash, so it's a miracle we get any guests at all. But we have been very lucky.

A good rule to remember for life is that when it comes to plastic surgery and sushi, never be attracted by a bargain.

The only people who are desperate to go on the show are people we're desperate not to have on the show.

I always say I'd rather be miserable by myself than unhappy in a relationship.

I don't think I've got bad taste. I've got no taste.

I am really bad at actually interviewing people.

In my experience the difference between a straight and a bisexual is about four pints

I bet Maurice Gibb's heart monitor was singing the tune of Stayin' Alive.

A comedian's a comedian. They're a very kind of cynical bunch. I guess that's why I like them.

The BBC is a victim of its own independence.

I have nothing to say about my childhood. It was a perfectly pleasant upbringing - it's not like it was unhappy or anything.

Fern: How would you know? Have you ever been nobody? Ambrose: Everybody who is somebody becomes nobody the moment they fail.

We must not wish anything other than what happens from moment to moment all the while however exercising ourselves in goodness.

My younger sister and younger brother are huge 'Teen Witch' fans.

Like sunshine, music is a powerful force that can instantly and almost chemically change your entire mood.

Well, there are better cartoonists now than there ever have been. I firmly believe that. There's some amazing work being done.

When you are in the valley, keep your goal firmly in view and you will get the renewed energy to continue the climb.

The most used phrase in my administration if I were to be President would be 'What the hell you mean we're out of missiles?'

In my job, whenever I delivered a presentation I would rehearse several times before the actual event. In sport, it is important to be equally prepared about my opponents.

A ruby-encrusted orb popped its top and helicopter blades unfolded. Leo was glad Buford the table wasn't here-he would've fallen in love.

The acceptance of all that God has given us and the willingness to let it go - to give it back to him at a moment's notice - that's true human freedom.