The people we elect aren't bipartisan. The American public is bipartisan.

All the candy corn that was ever made was made in 1911.

MTV is to music as KFC is to chicken!

I like coffee because it gives me the illusion that I might be awake.

There's no such thing as soy milk. It's soy juice.

Donald Trump came out as a birther, which is Republican for, 'I'm running for president.'

Elected officials shouldn’t get to choose who gets to choose elected officials.

If a group of people - leaders - can convince a group of folk who barely have a pot to piss in that the rich shouldn't be taxed-- THAT is leadership!

When it comes to idiots, America's got more than its fair share. If idiots were energy, it would be a source that would never run out.

You can never put too much pork in your mouth as far as I'm concerned.

What I find most disturbing about Valentine's Day is, look, I get that you have to have a holiday of love, but in the height of flu season, it makes no sense.

Judgement is always based on experience and sometimes you will battle a person's history first, before commonsense will ever win the war.

...And every day in heaven will be more beautiful than the one before it Davy, " assured Anne.

What's the most offensive is not their lying- one can always forgive lying- lying is a delightful thing, for it leads to truth- what is offensive is that they lie and worship their own lying....

The Rose does not preen herself to catch my eye. She blooms because she blooms. A saint is a saint until he knows he is one.

When I am working on a problem, I never think about beauty but when I have finished, if the solution is not beautiful, I know it is wrong.

Those who criticize the most typically end up solving the least.

Wide acceptance of an idea is not proof of its validity.

Municipal laws are a supply to the wisdom of each individual; and, at the same time, by restraining the natural liberty of men, make private interest submit to the interest of the public.

Don't ever slam a door, you might want to go back.

Much of a behavior acceptable today would be socially offensive in a saner or more logical arrangement.