The people who guard the rainbow don't like those who get in the way of the sun.

There's a saying that all roads lead to Ankh-Morpork. And it's wrong. All roads lead away from Ankh-Morpork, but sometimes people just walk along them the wrong way.

The worst thing you can do is nothing.

There are times in life when people must know when not to let go. Balloons are designed to teach small children this.

Rincewind had always been happy to think of himself as a racist. The One Hundred Meters, the Mile, the Marathon -- he'd run them all.

Rincewind could scream for mercy in nineteen languages, and just scream in another forty-four.

Tourist, Rincewind decided, meant ‘idiot.

...and the funny thing was that people who weren't entirely certain they were right always argued much louder than other people, as if the main person they were trying to convince were themselves.

The trouble with having an open mind, of course, is that people will insist on coming along and trying to put things in it.

I have, before now, waited for a pen to perform a macro.

You never knew about people, like you never knew how deep a pond was because all you saw was the top.

The difficulty of always feeling that you ought to be doing something is that you tend to undervalue the times when you’re apparently doing nothing, and those are very important times.

An old earthen pipe like myself is dry and thirsty and so a most voracious drinker of life at its source; I'm no more to be split by the vital stream than if I were stone or steel.

Private schools have been attacking public schools and really I was just a pawn in their game. I speak at schools of all ages on a regular basis.

Vickie... you got some 'splaining to do!

The people on this planet who end up doing nothing are those who never realized they couldn't do everything.

The man who can speak acceptably is usually given credit for an ability out of all proportion to what he really possesses.

Nothing's ever easy as long as you go on living.

To our Soldiers: Thank you again and again, you will always matter, not only on this Memorial Day but every day!

The human being is to be respected and defended, not protected like a bird or a river.

I would say at times I am a 'Glamoholic.' But I am definitely more laid back than glamorous.I think it takes a lot of effort and sometimes I just want to be in jeans.