The people who influenced me most were the people who said I would never make it. They gave me a thirst for revenge.

I'm handsome, no ands, buts or ifs.

We all have a dinosaur deep within us just trying to get out.

Nine out of ten Americans believe that out of ten people, one person will always disagree with the other nine!

For as long as I can remember, I've had memories.

Wives live longer than husbands because they're not married to women.

Did you know that..........'embargo' spelled backwards is 'o grab me

This just in: Beverly Hills 90210, Cleveland Browns 3.

Give me liberty! Or a bran muffin!

Our top story tonight: Famous TV dolphin flipper was arrested today on prostitution ring charges. He allegedly was seen transporting two 16 year olds across state line for immoral porpoises.

Ladies and gentlemen of the jury. It's not like the sheep was underage.

Those who cannot easily forgive will not collect many friends. Look for the best in others and yourself.

Shooting is 99 per cent luck and one per cent training

Once you put bacon into a salad it's no longer a salad, it just becomes a game of find the bacon in the lettuce. It's like you're panning for gold, hmmmmm, EUREKA!

Regis Philbin's back in primetime, hosting 11 new episodes of 'Who Wants To Be a Millionaire.' But because of Obama's tax plan, it's been re-titled 'Who Wants To Win Just Under $250,000.'

Organized religion preaches Order and Love but spawns Chaos and Fury. Why?

The mind and the voice by themselves are not sufficient.

Now I can see how that can happen. You can fall in love with anybody--a fool, a criminal, a nothing. There are no good rules.

I'm not one of these 'the characters write themselves; the story just fell out of me' kind of writers. Wish it was like that.

The greatest homage to truth is to use it.

I've never joined any political party and have no plans to do so. I'm fully independent.