The perfect woman has an IQ of 150, wants to make love until 4 in the morning, then turns into a pizza!

I used to jog but the ice cubes kept falling out of my glass.

Money can't buy you happiness, but it can buy you a yacht big enough to pull up right alongside it.

I would just like to say that after all these years of heavy drinking, bright lights and late nights, I still don't need glasses. I drink right out of the bottle.

If you subtracted all of the great artists who never drank, who never went to excess, you wouldn't have any more art left. What kind of poem are you gonna get out of a glass of iced tea?

When I die, sprinkle my ashes over the 80's.

I'm not conceited. Conceit is a fault and I have no faults.

Remember, life is just a game and no one gets out alive

If you want to split a bottle with a friend, then Sammy Hagar is your guy. If you want to split your friend with a bottle than give me a call.

If you put a Van Halen album in your record collection, it will melt all the rest of your records.

He who knows how will always work for he who knows why.

We came to this world with love and hope to bloom like a flower, to beautify this garden we call earth, and spread the fragrance of happiness.

Passion is a catalyst for action and provides you with the emotional stamina to stick with it, regardless of the obstacles.

Aww." Sarah patted Mr Trinozka on one of his shoulders. "How cute are you?" She turned to Charlotte. "I love country monsters." Sarah, Witch of the 13th Generation

You think the dead we loved truly ever leave us? You think that we don't recall them more clearly in times of great trouble?

We may be particularly inclined to acquire and retain beliefs that make us feel good.

Well, I don't think there's any need for people to focus on my career.

Losers take chances; winners make choices.

Even the bravest only rarely have courage for what they really know.

An API that isn't comprehensible isn't usable.

This book is dedicated to all of my friends who helped me get to where I am today - you know who you are... and when I find you I am going to kill you.