The phrase 'sodomized by a bratwurst poltergeist' suddenly flew through my mind.

Something coming back from the dead was almost always bad news. Movies taught me that. For every one Jesus you get a million zombies.

But remember, there are two ways to dehumanize someone: by dismissing them, and by idolizing them.

That ability to see the right choice, but not until several hours have passed since making the wrong one? That's what makes a person a dumbass, folks.

Kittens will make your sad go away

John's old Caddie had a huge engine that would qualify as a human rights violation if built today. It roared down the road, chugging gas and farting a blue cloud of dinosaur souls.

Son, the greatest trick the Devil pulled was convincing the world there was only one of him.

Start working on whatever you hesitate Because there is an ending to every beginning. When you make it to the end, You will realize the hesitation was a waste of time.

Cynicism does not cause inaction.

Which would prove I'm a monster, Arnie? Sacrificing the people I love for the fight? Or walking away from the fight to save the people i love?

You know if you walked around the world, your hat would travel thirty-one feet farther than your shoes?

His entire body was pleading for reassurance, and if her whole love was not enough what else could she give him to cure his doubt?

The minute I heard my first love story, I started looking for you, not knowing how blind that was.

Wisdom of the Ages: "President's Day" One allowed the Federal Reserve and one got lead. One got a city and the other got dead.

An ugly sight, a man who is afraid.

I'm very proud of my daughter. She accomplished a whole lot in the short time that she had here... she was a very wonderful person.

I have to keep testing myself.

The Raiders of old were vicious and crazy and cruel. Hanging around their locker room was like hanging around the weight room at Folsom Prison.

The most miserable man in this room tonight is the Christian who is not right with Him.

Don't focus on the wins and losses... focus your efforts on performing to your full potential.

A wicked man in prayer may lift up his hands, but he cannot lift up his face.