The piano has been drinking, not me.

A gentleman is someone who can play the accordion, but doesn't.

Don't plant your bad days. They grow into weeks. The weeks grow into months. Before you know it, you got yourself a bad year. Take it from me - choke those little bad days. Choke 'em down to nothing.

We are buried beneath the weight of information, which is being confused with knowledge; quantity is being confused with abundance and wealth with happiness. We are monkeys with money and guns.

I'd rather have a free bottle in front of me than a prefrontal lobotomy.

when your down on your luck and you've lost all your dreams theres nothing like a campfire and a can of beans

I like beautiful melodies telling me terrible things.

The folks who know the truth aren't talking.... The ones who don't have a clue, you can't shut them up!

You have to keep busy. After all, no dog's ever pissed on a moving car.

When I was younger, I wanted to be older. Now I am older, I am not quite so sure.

Most people don't care if you're telling them the truth or if you're telling them a lie, as long as they're entertained by it.

Everything that happens in our lives has meaning even though we may not understand it or even pay attention to it.

The single most important decision any of us will ever make is whether or not to believe the universe is friendly.

Sheer effort enables those with nothing to surpass those with privilege and position.

Time is key to building your financial security.

It should seem that it is easier to square the circle than to get round a mathematician.

I learned that life will go through changes - up and down and up again. It's what life does.

I’m reminded today how unpredictable God can be.

There is no family in America without a clock, and consequently there is no fair pretext for the usual Sunday medley of dreadful sounds that issues from our steeples.

Home wasn't a set house, or a single town on a map. It was wherever the people who loved you were, whenever you were together.

Our heroes of the former days deserved and gained their never-fading bays.