The picture's pretty bleak, gentlemen... The world's climates are changing, the mammals are taking over, and we all have a brain about the size of a walnut.

Every week when my batch of weekly cartoons would go to FedEx, it felt like a small miracle. Then in a few days, it's 'Here we go again.'

I don't believe in the concept of hell, but if I did I would think of it as filled with people who were cruel to animals.

By the time they had diminished from 50 to 8, the other dwarves began to suspect 'Hungry'.

You always hear a headline like this, 'Man Killed By Shark', you never hear it from the other perspective, 'Man Swims in Shark Infested Waters, Forgets He's Shark Food'.

The Bluebird of Happiness long absent from his life, Ned is visited by the Chicken of Depression.

It is a known fact that the sheep that give us steel wool have no natural enemies.

Great moments in science: Einstein discovers that time is actually money.

You should always leave the party 10 minutes before you actually do.

The fuel light's on, Frank! We're all going to die! Wait, wait... Oh, my mistake - that's the intercom light.

Hot oil! We need hot oil!... Forget the water balloons!

I make sure to always have some spinach between my teeth so people are disinclined to bother me.Survival strategies for the 21st century.

Dreams are what keep us growing. they are what keep us alive...io give up is to let our dreams die..........

Our ability to do great things with data will make a real difference in every aspect of our lives.

Let us be men with men, and always children before God; for in His eyes we are but children. Old age itself, in presence of eternity, is but the first moment of a morning.

Style is a magic wand, and turns everything to gold that it touches.

We often laughed at others in our house, and I picked up the craft of being polite while people were present and laughing later if there was anything to laugh about.

I didn't do very well at school, and I suppose I've always had this sense, you know that, of being average, so I've been a bit low on self-confidence in my ability.

I experience each moment like baklava: rich in this layer, and this layer, and this layer.

It is clearly important for all leadership candidates to be open and transparent about their tax affairs. I was very happy to publish mine today, and hope others will follow suit.