The pipeline would run from Canada to the Gulf Coast. It'll be the biggest underground structure leading into the U.S. Then people in Mexico said, 'Eh . . . second biggest.'

Don't keep reaching for the stars because you'll just look like an idiot stretching that way for no reason.

Thank you, people who say 'Wow, you're really photogenic,' for not saying what you really mean: 'Wow, you're really ugly in person.'

Thank you... fantasy football draft, for letting me know that even in my fantasies, I am bad at sports.

In New York, there are so many potholes, they're like craters on the moon. That's another traffic thing.

The man who invented Doritos has passed away at the age of 97. He asked to be buried with the creator of Fritos and Cheetos in a variety pack.

I just really don't like being the center of attention that much. It's kind of ironic.

If you're a sports fan you realize that when you meet somebody, like a girlfriend, they kind of have to root for your team. They don't have a choice.

I know what you want. And I know what you need. But I'm gonna screw it up, yeah, cause I'm an idiot. And I'm your boyfriend.

Researches at Yale found a connection between brain cancer and work environment. The No. 1 most dangerous job for developing brain cancer? Plutonium hat model.

I don't shoot guns. I don't know how to do that. I grew Upstate New York, so I fought with my fists.

Gardens are made of darkness and light entwined.

If anything interferes with my inner peace, I will walk away. Arguments with family members. All that stuff. None of it matters.

Then sculpture and her sister arts revived; stones leaped to form, and rocks began to live.

Telling my story is to empower people to believe in their own power. We have so much power individually.

Gratefulness is the gallantry of a heart ready to rise to the opportunity a given moment offers.

Iraq does not pose an imminent threat to the United States of any of its neighboring nations.

When I hear myself, I don't know how I sound.

I say to my friends, 'Don't just listen to the vuvuzelas; look at who scores the goals.' And this is the important thing.

No one should voluntarily remain in an environment which prevents his development.

To the real question, How does it feel to be a problem? I answer seldom a word.