The places I've worked in the past, I always stayed three years and moved on.

A telephone survey says that 51 percent of college students drink until they pass out at least once a month. The other 49 percent didn't answer the phone.

Strange medical news from Pakistan: A man had a successful organ transplant with a dog. They gave the man a dog's organ. In a related story today, Keith Richards was seen chasing a mailman.

Did you see the statue topple? Bill Clinton got nostalgic seeing something that big in a beret go down.

Democrats were quick to point out that President Bush's budget creates a 1 trillion dollar deficit. The White House quickly responded with 'Hey, look over there, it's Saddam Hussein.'

I enjoyed retirement the right way linguine con vongole, red wine and plenty of truffle cheese.

The prison scandal is really hurting President Bush's poll numbers. In fact, I hear he's already working on his concession smirk.

John Kerry will be the Democratic nominee for president. Democrats finally found someone who is Al Gore without the flash and the sizzle.

The big political news, Arnold Schwarzenegger announced he's running for governor of California, and already, people are chanting, 'Four more vowels, four more vowels.

New rumors that Saddam Hussein is planning to flee to a castle in Libya with 10 billion dollars. Now President Bush doesn't know whether to nuke him or give him a tax cut.

President Bush spent last night calling world leaders to support the war with Iraq and it is sad when the most powerful man on earth is yelling, 'I know you're there, pick up, pick up.

Pink makes me smile.Pink makes me laugh.Pink makes me love her.Pink makes it all worthwhile.

I believe that tomorrow never exist, until we make a day called today.

On one hole, I hit an alligator so hard, he's now my golf bag.

There is one single thread binding my way together...the way of the Master consists in doing one's best...that is all.

Pain is an interesting and off-putting thing. Few if any things in life concentrate our attention so completely and terribly, and few things are more boring to listen to or read about.

I'm not looking for sequels, but when something comes to you, and you're already a fan of that world, you have the desire to do it your way.

Nothing keeps longer than a middling fortune, and nothing melts away sooner than a large one.

My personal style is over-the-top dowager. The old days they said get dressed and take one thing off, I say get dressed and put one thing on.

I believe in ceremony. I think ceremony is important, pomp and circumstance, tradition. I'm into those things.

Learn by doing. Theory is nice, but nothing replaces actual experience.