The podcast movement was really a creative survival mechanism for standup comics.

We're not in an information age anymore. We're in the information management age.

Nerds get caught up in minutiae, because there is a tremendous and fulfilling sense of control in understanding every single detail of a thing more than any other living creature.

Bowling is all physics and energy distribution. It's F = ma. So it is actually one of the most science-y sports, because it literally is just a ball and a surface and objects to knock down.

When you hang around a lot of comedians long enough, you realize there's a certain gene, in every comedian. It's why we get hyper-analytical about things.

I do seem like the kind of guy who'd be obsessive about Rubik's Cubes.

No matter what tricks you use or what decisions you make, go easy on yourself as someone who's on a never-ending quest for improvement.

Steal moments of happiness if you have to, and then collect them until they are the dominant images in your psyche.

I almost think of nerd brains as rattlesnake venom; like, you can milk it. You can milk the pulpy venom out of the nerd brain and use it for good if you want to.

Humans cannot produce viable offspring with our closest animal cousin: the chimpanzee. We cannot impregnate a chimp. So you know what that means? No condoms.

I've gone from being bullied by jocks as a kid to being bullied by nerds as an adult.

Politics is the entertainment branch of industry.

I think you have more fun as a human being even though it is much more painful.

All my life I have fought corruption.

Through the ingenuousness of her age beamed an ardent mind, a mind not of the women but of the poet; she did not please, she intoxicated.

You can't sing about love unless you know about it.

Devotion is diligence without assurance. If faith were rational, it wouldn't be by definition faith. Faith is walking face-first and full speed into the dark.

Every human being is loved by God the Father. No one need feel forgotten, for every name is written in the Lord's loving heart.

I love to hate [Wall Street] it, and I like it. I love the fact that I hate it and like it at the same time. Plus, Gordon Gekko is now [Donald] Trump, isn't he?

I'm very comfortable in a room with thousands of people.

A tree, freshly rooted, may be pulled up by one man on his own. Give it time, and it will not be moved, even with a crane