The position of First Lady has no rules, just precedent, so its evolution has been at a virtual standstill for years. If Martha Washington didn't do it, then no one is sure it should be done.

The problem with cats is that they get the exact same look on their face whether they see a moth or an axe-murderer.

I have a horrible memory and I used to consider that a liability, but I've learned along the way that talking to people is really a beautiful thing.

I mean, I do love clever and witty, but I think that the 'Three Stooges' were geniuses. They'd have to be for their appeal to have lasted this long.

I don't have a bank account because I don't know my mother's maiden name.

I got my dog three years ago because I was drunk in a pet store. We had nine cats at the time. The cats started hiding the alcohol after that.

I don’t believe for a second that weightlifting is a sport. They pick up a heavy thing and put it down again. To me, that’s indecision.

Adults are always asking little kids what they want to be when they grow up because they're looking for ideas

Remember when you were considered an environmentalist when you didn't throw junk out the car window? I sure do miss that simpler, happier time.

The wages of sin are death, but by the time taxes are taken out, it's just sort of a tired feeling.

When we save the rain forest, the polar bear, and Al Gore, we should party so hard that Canada calls the cops on us for noise.

I love women whose hidden desires make horses put an end to their lives at the threshold

Do not allow hate to take root in your heart.

One reason sin flourishes is that it is treated like a cream puff instead of a rattlesnake.

In the bare room under the old library on the hill in the town at the tip of the small peninsula on the cold island so far from everything else, I lived among strangers and birds.

When grace has won the day, the worldling seeks the world to come.

The two most important requirements for major success are: first, being in the right place at the right time, and second, doing something about it.

You're not working with models, you're working with real women who have, like, anatomy. Models do not have anatomy.

I don't think I'm such an amazing person who needs to be written about.

I thought maybe I would be everyone's favorite dude-food friend.

I've been recording myself since grade 10. Back then, it was just really crappy rock stuff.