The problem with cats is that they get the same exact look whether they see a moth or an ax-murderer.

The problem with cats is that they get the exact same look on their face whether they see a moth or an axe-murderer.

I have a horrible memory and I used to consider that a liability, but I've learned along the way that talking to people is really a beautiful thing.

I mean, I do love clever and witty, but I think that the 'Three Stooges' were geniuses. They'd have to be for their appeal to have lasted this long.

I don't have a bank account because I don't know my mother's maiden name.

I got my dog three years ago because I was drunk in a pet store. We had nine cats at the time. The cats started hiding the alcohol after that.

I don’t believe for a second that weightlifting is a sport. They pick up a heavy thing and put it down again. To me, that’s indecision.

Adults are always asking little kids what they want to be when they grow up because they're looking for ideas

Remember when you were considered an environmentalist when you didn't throw junk out the car window? I sure do miss that simpler, happier time.

The wages of sin are death, but by the time taxes are taken out, it's just sort of a tired feeling.

When we save the rain forest, the polar bear, and Al Gore, we should party so hard that Canada calls the cops on us for noise.

It's not enough to listen to their words. You have to mine their silences for buried ore. It's often only in the lies that we refuse to speak that truth can be heard at all.

Time can be strange sometimes. It can leave imprints in particular places, leaving ghosts of memories trapped.

My idea of an educated person is one who can converse on one subject for more than two minutes.

Without romance, films will be boring. I doubt if people now understand romance, though they may claim it otherwise. I am very romantic in real life.

In a consumer society, people wallow in things, fascinating, enjoyable things. If you define your value by the things you acquire and surround yourself with, being excluded is humiliating.

Human experience shows that people, not organizations or management systems, get things done

I don't remember any blue poodles.

[My parents] met in university back in the '70s. And I didn't grow up with my father. He - they separated before I was born.

My favorite fur is wild acrylic.

Jordie Bellaire knows how to tell a story with color.