The problem with doing commercials is that the only thing good enough for me to sell is myself, and I stopped doing that once I kicked my coke habit.

I was mad when I heard The Amazing Race wasn't about white people.

I was kosher until I had my Bar Mitzvah, and I parlayed officially becoming a man into telling my father I wanted to eat cheeseburgers.

I once fisted two babies and then used the corpses as boxing gloves to fight off the grieving parents.

It's all about being a part of something in the community, socializing with people who share interests and coming together to help improve the world we live in.

In New York, we tip everyone. We tip doormen, we tip cab drivers, and we tip bartenders at the bar. You'll get quite an evil eye if you don't leave a tip at the bar.

I like hot dogs. I like eggplant. I like pizza and creamed corn and beer. But I don't like Arabs.

The best way to travel abroad is to live with the locals.

I don't mind it if blacks want equal rights, as long as they mean rights equal to a dog

It turns out Superman is weak to Kryptonite and horses.

Women have the right to choose what do with their own bodies. They can take it in the cooch or in the pooper. But that's where their right to choose stops, in my opinion.

The apple doesn't fall far from the tree......unless that tree's growing on top of a hill.

Furthermore, he had beautiful eyes.

I was writing from the time I was 12 years old, but I originally wanted to be a novelist.

Writing a play, you start with less, so more is demanded of you. It's as if you have to not only write a symphony, but invent the instruments as well.

When people say, "Oh, she plays like a dude," it's usually dudes who are the ones saying it. They're saying, "Oh, she's as good as us." Of course, that's a stupid statement.

My life is a blessing every day that I get up. God saved my feet. How am I not going to use them?

Communication comes with practice. As a leader you must speak the truth; listen for understanding; and learn from what you hear and do not hear.

My young friend supposes his ingenuousness is merely a ruse.

The thing that makes you know that Vernon Ward is a good painter is if you look at his ducks, you can see the eyes follow you around the room.

The important thing is not to think much but to love much; do, then, whatever most arouses you to love.