The problem with paradise is that it's temporary: You don't belong here and the neighbors are nobody you care to know, so it's only blissful for a week or so.

Welcome to Lake Wobegon, where all the women are strong, all the men are good-looking, and all the children are above average.

Anyone who thinks sitting in church can make you a Christian must also think that sitting in a garage can make you a car.

It was luxuries like air conditioning that brought down the Roman Empire. With air conditioning their windows were shut, they couldn't hear the barbarians coming.

Even in a time of elephantine vanity and greed, one never has to look far to see the campfires of gentle people.

A lovely thing about Christmas is that it's compulsory, like a thunderstorm, and we all go through it together.

Thank you, God, for this good life and forgive us if we do not love it enough.

The highlight of my childhood was making my brother laugh so hard that food came out of his nose.

Be well, do good work, and keep in touch.

Sometimes there is nothing you can do, and in those times, you must do something anyway.

Beauty isn't worth thinking about; what's important is your mind. You don't want a fifty-dollar haircut on a fifty-cent head. ~Garrison Keillor

An accumulation of pennies is a fortune. Day-to-day practice is perfection. A dream realized is nothing more than many steps taken toward the borders of once-impossible.

Beauty may be only skin deep but the judgments founded on it ten to go a lot deeper, whether we wished they would or not.

I do like going to the movies, but I like eating tons of sweets and ice cream, so I can't go to the movies anymore.

There's nothing else I would rather do, unless there was a profession that involved cuddling bunny rabbits and kittens all day for money.

Presenting feels like it did 50 years ago, but the pay's a lot better.

Liberating education consists in acts of cognition, not transferrals of information

The only way to always be relevant is to focus on what's eternal. Everything in style will soon be out of style.

I feel a tremendous sense of accomplishment. Everything is in tune: the voice, the type of music, who I am and who people think I am.

I now want more time to devote to politics and more freedom to do so.

What is your trouble? Mistaken identity.