The problem with prostitutes is, what if you actually like somebody you meet in that situation? Where do you go from there? What do you do?

I don't have a tuxedo that fits anymore because my chest and my biceps are too big.

I'm tired of pretending like I'm not bitching, a total fricking rock star from Mars...

Boom, crush. Night, losers. Winning, duh.

I've got magic. I've got poetry at my fingertips.

People say it's lonely at the top, but I sure like the view.

I still don't have all the answers. I'm more interested in what I can do next than what I did last.

The best way to not get your heart broken, is pretending you don't have one.

It's quite fitting that Slash is getting a star on the very street Axl Rose will one day be sleeping on.

I am on a drug. It's called Charlie Sheen. It's not available. If you try it once, you will die. Your face will melt off and your children will weep over your exploded body.

My success rate is 100 percent. Do the math.

Wealth is a gift from God, and pride is bequeathed to us from the devil.

I don't understand German myself. I learned it at school, but forgot every word of it two years after I had left, and have felt much better ever since.

It’s amazing how long we put up with things we detest for the sake of a quiet life.

Nothing but mountains filled with barbarous ethnics with views as medieval as their muskets, and unspeakably cruel too.

You can't imagine what satisfaction can be gotten from throwing a pie into someone's face.

When I first began writing In the Country of Men all I had was the voice of the protagonist. He intrigued me and my desire to want to know him and his world became almost compulsive.

You’re my best friend, Shmuel,’ he said. ‘My best friend for life.

I really like books that you can kind of hear as much as think about, that are so graphic and visual.

The only peace is being out of earshot.