The problem with putting off things you've always wanted to do is that eventually you run out of always.

Enjoy the little things, for one day you may look back and realize they were the big things.

Cherish the friend who tells you a harsh truth, wanting ten times more to tell you a loving lie.

You can spend too much time wondering which of identical twins is the more alike.

What greater blessing to give thanks for at a family gathering than the family and the gathering.

Ever wonder what crime you committed that you are confined to a small enclosure above your sinuses, under permanent skull arrest?

If minutes were kept of a family gathering, they would show that "Members not Present" and "Subjects Discussed" were one and the same.

It finally happened. I got the GPS lady so confused, she said, "In one-quarter mile, make a legal stop and ask directions.

For the most part, we carnivores do not eat other carnivores. We prefer to eat our vegetarian friends.

On a windswept hill by a billowing sea, my destiny sits and waits for me.

It is not that love is blind. It is that love sees with a painter's eye, finding the essence that renders all else background.

Life's like the piano and the violin, it's about how smart you could play the melodies to make a good harmony.

Irony takes nothing away from pathos.

It's not possible to experience constant euphoria, but if you're grateful, you can find happiness in everything.

It has been my observation that most people get ahead during the time that others waste.

3 is prime, 5 is prime, 7 is prime, 9 is a paradox; as is a paradox why the number 1 is not prime if it has no other divisors besides himself.

If you remain unsettled by a piece of writing, it means you are not watching the story from the outside; you've already taken a step toward it.

So we are pretty convinced we don't want to play huge stadiums unless we can play them well.

Social media is the basis of my career. Since I was a kid I've always used the Internet as a space to express myself creatively.

I was born to do sitcoms, where you get an immediate response from the audience.

I wear black on the outside 'Cause black is how I feel on the inside.