The public's appetite for frothy, flippant blondes has waned, but Paris Hilton still fascinates me.

Nah... I mean, I'm already pregnant, so what other kind of shenanigans could I get into?

I'm glad that as a 33-year-old working mother, I can still choose to wear a Hello Kitty T-shirt or stay up late scrolling through the Twitter feed of my junior-high crush.

Couture gowns are like gremlins; you can't expose them to bright light or get them wet.

Los Angeles is often described as the nadir of vapidity, a smog-choked space cradle.

He is the cheese to my macaroni.

Thanks a heap coyote ugly. This cactus-gram stings worse than your abandonment.

The best thing you can do is find a person who loves you for exactly what you are.

I've been told that I'm incompetent, socially retarded, maladjusted. I still know that I couldn't function in reality. Los Angeles is a good place for me.

It doesn't matter if they're in front of the camera or behind the camera. I know women who are producers who are surviving on nothing but juice and almonds.

I think sometimes people really require the satisfaction of closure.

If I were omnipotent and omnibenevolent I wouldn't be so damn ineffable.

An extreme passion of any human being is to be unique

When I'm reading for my own pleasure, I read things other than history or archival material. I read a lot of fiction. I'm very fond of mysteries.

Holding on to anger is like poisoning yourself and hoping someone else will die.

When you think you can't do any more repetitions, do two more.

All that counts is the truth. Without it you're basically just juggling people's daft ideas.

I love teaching. It's a job that lasts forever. Whatever you teach children today travels with them far into the future.

Yes, I love white, and I'd wear it all the time if I could. Some people think I have an issue with cleanliness, but to me it's just so pretty.

I feel much safer faced with a blank sheet of paper than I do with a real person.

Speech is an old torn net, through which the fish escape as one casts it over them.