The qualities we have, make us so ridiculous as those which we affect.

Good advice is something a man gives when he is too old to set a bad example.

All women are flirts, but some are restrained by shyness, and others by sense.

Absence diminishes mediocre passions and increases great ones, as the wind extinguishes candles and fans fires.

A work can become modern only if it is first postmodern. Postmodernism thus understood is not modernism at its end but in the nascent state, and this state is constant.

When we are unable to find tranquility within ourselves, it is useless to seek it elsewhere.

There is only one kind of love, but there are a thousand imitations.

Nothing hinders a thing from being natural so much as the straining ourselves to make it seem so.

Marriage is the only war in which you sleep with the enemy.

Most people know no other way of judging men's worth but by the vogue they are in, or the fortunes they have met with.

There are no accidents so unlucky from which clever people are not able to reap some advantage, and none so lucky that the foolish are not able to turn them to their own disadvantage.

If you can’t write your idea on the back of my calling card, you don’t have a clear idea.

I don't want you to be my fan. I want you to be mine.

A man of great memory without learning hath a rock and a spindle and no staff to spin.

I know about the bad, but I look at the good thing.

Heaven is a homegrown cucumber

Meditation is listening to the divine within

I'm very self-conscious having my picture taken, so I clown around. My driver's license photo looks like a blonde Elvis.

We're all immortal until we die.

If somebody gives you his money, definitely he will be interested in knowing how you spend the money.

I would say, when it comes to comedy, I think Matthew Broderick was great.