The quality of a restaurant's food is inversely proportioned to the amount of fun its staff seems to be having.

If I do marry, I'll expect a pretty serious dowry. I'm talking goats, pigs, chickens, the works.

Life is what you make of it, unless you have tourette's, in which case much becomes involuntary.

If space suits looked less like marshmallows, I'd be more interested in going to the moon.

Cupcakes are the tattooed brunette chick of the baked goods world.

Love is a crocodile just above the water line waiting to attack the innocent herbivore of my freedom.

Met someone who works at the zoo. Apparently the panda is a nasty animal.

Happiness is a carnival game. It's never as easy as it looks, but the dumb ones always seem to be walking around with a big stuffed animal.

It's a wonder you don't see the zebra being trotted out as a metaphor for racial harmony more often.

Every time I see a happy couple I want to give them a polygraph.

Insecurity is like herpes. It's not going anywhere. May as well learn to laugh at it.

And yet this self, containsTides, continents and stars―a myriad selves, Is small and solitary as one grass-bladePassed over by the windAmongst a myriad grasses on the prairie.

There are three sources of belief: reason, custom, inspiration.

Do not expect to receive love from someone else you do not give yourself

Let me smile with the wise, and feed with the rich.

God is good and I am always loved.

The more fearless we are in our personal lives, the more of that spirit we'll bring to changing our world.

The vast majority (over 80 percent) of fast-food and similar low wage service jobs (<$9.24/hr) are held by adults. A quarter are adults over 40. Another quarter are moms raising kids.

I am deaf to the word 'no'.

Chewing transforms even toxins into nutritive substances.

We [Democrats] are looking for things that we think would make a difference, improve the country, and enjoy some bipartisan support.