The question of whether computers can think is like the question of whether submarines can swim.

If debugging is the process of removing software bugs, then programming must be the process of putting them in.

Programming is one of the most difficult branches of applied mathematics; the poorer mathematicians had better remain pure mathematicians.

The lurking suspicion that something could be simplified is the world's richest source of rewarding challenges.

Computer science is no more about computers than astronomy is about telescopes.

The purpose of abstraction is not to be vague, but to create a new semantic level in which one can be absolutely precise.

Simplicity and elegance are unpopular because they require hard work and discipline to achieve and education to be appreciated.

Program testing can be used to show the presence of bugs, but never to show their absence!

Elegance is not a dispensable luxury but a factor that decides between success and failure.

Teaching COBOL ought to be regarded as a criminal act.

Perfecting oneself is as much unlearning as it is learning.

You must continue to press your way to glory

Whoever controls the volume of money in any country is absolute master of all industry and commerce.

I like things that are immature and offbeat and bizarre. Random jokes. Weird stuff. And stupid. Stupid is the highest compliment a person can pay to me.

Education has become a prisoner of contemporaneity.

I know what an Act to make things simpler means. It means that the people who drew it up don't understand it themselves and that every one of its clauses needs a law-suit to disentangle it.

Nothing in the Shastra, which is manifestly contrary to universal truths and morals, can stand.

I guess not being able to hear just made me adventurous and daring. And in most cases, that didn't make my parents very happy with me.

My life feels so surreal. That's why I've made a shtick of being me.

It looks like a galosh with electronics in it.

Well it's a gloomy, rainy old day to be here in London, but it could be worse; I could be in Saudi Arabia where men are men, and women are cattle.