The quickest way to a man's heart really is through his stomach, because then you don't have to chop through that pesky rib cage.

A good relationship is like fireworks: loud, explosive, and liable to maim you if you hold on too long.

You can either hold yourself up to the unrealistic standards of others, or ignore them and concentrate on being happy with yourself as you are.

That's what college is for - getting as many bad decisions as possible out of the way before you're forced into the real world. I keep a checklist of 'em on the wall in my room.

There are two ways to pass a hurdle: leaping over or plowing through... There needs to be a monster truck option.

If only corporal punishment cured low self-esteem.

Bachelor's degrees make pretty good placemats if you get 'em laminated.

The TV Tropes QC page is every single idiotic comment from my forums distilled into one HTML document.

The trick to writer's block is to sack up and write through it, you see.

Your whole life people tell you to do what you love. But if you gotta do something else to pay the bills, you don't automatically have to be miserable.

Spontaneous kindness is to hipsters as high beams are to deer.

Give me such shows--give me the streets of Manhattan!

Sometimes, when you want to laugh, reality steps in.

I use charcoal a lot. Partly because it has such a fantastic range but also because it is very easy to erase. For me, drawing is a lot to do with taking out, with returning to the white of the paper.

I'm not terribly sentimental.

People laugh at me because I use big words. But if you have big ideas, you have to use big words to express them, haven't you?

I could survive in a Turkish prison, probably.

You know I grew up watching the TV series The Rifleman.

The will to win... the will to achieve...goes dry and arid without continuous renewal.

We are fossils in the making.

Disneyland is the star, everything else is in the supporting role.