The real charm of the United States is that it is the only comic country ever heard of.

Love is like war: easy to begin but very hard to stop.

On some great and glorious day the plain folks of the land will reach their heart's desire at last, and the White House will be adorned by a downright moron.

The demagogue is one who preaches doctrines he knows to be untrue to men he knows to be idiots.

The whole aim of practical politics is to keep the populace alarmed (and hence clamorous to be led to safety) by menacing it with an endless series of hobgoblins, all of them imaginary.

Morality is doing what is right, no matter what you are told. Religion is doing what you are told, no matter what is right.

Every normal man must be tempted, at times, to spit on his hands, hoist the black flag, and begin slitting throats.

Democracy is a pathetic belief in the collective wisdom of individual ignorance.

The urge to save humanity is almost always a false front for the urge to rule.

It is inaccurate to say that I hate everything. I am strongly in favor of common sense, common honesty, and common decency. This makes me forever ineligible for public office.

Democracy is also a form of worship. It is the worship of Jackals by Jackasses.

The novelist screws up his courage in order to invest another two or three years in another attempt to float a boat of original design upon an invented ocean.

I always feel the danger because you might always be subject to an unexpected or emergency event.

Fear has a large shadow, but he himself is small.

Unfortunately, nuclear weapons have become identified with state power.

We age not by holding on to youth, but by letting ourselves grow and embracing whatever youthful parts remain.

She never quite leaves her children at home, even when she doesn't take them along.

You know what really offers you satisfaction? Offering others what you have to give.

Whoever wants to accomplish great things must devote to a lot of profound thought to details.

As our voices rise in protest, the NSA monitors your every phone call. if you have a cell phone, you are under surveillance. I believe what you do on your cell phone is none of their damn business.

If I succeed in putting some warmth and love into the work, then it will find friends. Carrying on working is the