The real job of every moral teacher is to keep bringing us back to the simple principles, which we're so anxious not to see.

You are never too old to set another goal or to dream a new dream.

Failures are finger posts on the road to achievement.

I know lots of people who are educated far beyond their intelligence.

It's difficult to think anything but pleasant thoughts while eating a homegrown tomato.

There's no such thing as being too Southern.

The game of life is a lot like football. You have to tackle your problems, block your fears, and score your points when you get the opportunity.

Baptists never make love standing up. They're afraid someone might see them and think they're dancing.

It's better to have died a small child than to be a politician who gets caught in a scandal during a slow news month.

You call to a dog and a dog will break its neck to get to you. Dogs just want to please. Call to a cat and its attitude is, 'What's in it for me?'

Instead of getting married again, I'm going to find a woman I don't like and give her a house.

Whatever you want to be in life, you're training for it right now.

Her hair was full of lights

He endured all that hell is on the cross, so that you would never know what hell is like.

Didn't open the box? What was it last time? Didn't know what it was? And yet we do keep finding each other, don't we? - Cenobite

Two wrongs can never make a right.

Love is a boomerang that returns to the thrower's hand.

It's nice to be in a movie that hasn't been absolutely slaughtered by the press.

Life is a continued struggle to be what we are not, and to do what we cannot.

If you really want your hair to look good, just don't wash it for a day. That's my secret.