The real reason your pro tells you to keep your head down is so you can't see him laughing at you.

We spend the first twelve months of our children's lives teaching them to walk and talk and the next twelve telling them to sit down and shut up.

A smile is a curve that sets everything straight.

If you don't have wrinkles, you haven't laughed enough.

Whatever you may look like, marry a man your own age - as your beauty fades, so will his eyesight.

I've tried Buddhism, Scientology, Numerology, Transcendental Meditation, Qabbala, t'ai chi, feng shui and Deepak Chopra but I find straight gin works best.

Housework can't kill you, but why take a chance?

The reason women don't play football is because 11 of them would never wear the same outfit in public.

Never go to bed mad. Stay up and fight.

Maybe it's true that life begins at fifty. But everything else starts to wear out, fall out, or spread out.

My cooking is so bad my kids thought Thanksgiving was to commemorate Pearl Harbor.

Wrote my way out of the hood...thought my way out of poverty! Don't tell me that knowledge isn't power. Education changes everything.

Growing up I often wondered how the world would be today if, since the beginning of human life, every person acted as I did.

I know my rights.""And I know you're wrong.

I’m trying to make myself let you go before Ms. Mary comes to get you, but you go and shiver at my touch and weaken my resolve to stop holding you.

We, in America, love a story - we need a story to get involved in. But then everything becomes more about how the story protects a certain perception as we pick sides.

I'm lucky, I can sleep from takeoff until we land; so I'm fresh, rested and ready to work on arrival.

Exercise is king. Nutrition is queen. Put them together and you've got a kingdom.

I'm totally into the emotional aspect of things.

I like playing on stage, don't get me wrong.

In the States, it takes you a lifetime just to get from Chicago's South Side to the West Side.