The reason so many people turned up at his funeral is that they wanted to make sure he was dead.

When someone does something good, applaud! You will make two people happy.

If I could drop dead right now, I'd be the happiest man alive.

We want a story that starts out with an earthquake and works its way up to a climax.

I don't want any yes-men around me. I want everybody to tell me the truth even if it costs them their job.

The harder I work, the luckier I get.

A hospital is no place to be sick.

Ninety percent of the art of living consists of getting along with people you cannot stand.

I'm willing to admit that I may not always be right, but I am never wrong.

From success you get a lot of things, but not that great inside thing that love brings you.

If Roosevelt were alive today, he'd turn over in his grave.

Artistically I am still a child with a whole life ahead of me to discover and create. I want something, but I won't know what it is until I succeed in doing it.

Sleeping alone seemed unnatural to me, and pitiful, something done in hospitals or when you're contagious.

I have a hunch that the unknown sequences of DNA will decode into copyright notices and patent protections.

No individual rain drop ever considers itself responsible for the flood.

I have a 12-year-old daughter, and all the time people will say, 'Oh, she's young!" and you'd be so surprised what you can learn from that 12-year-old if you just opened up your mind.

They say Im demonic in humor in the sense that I think people need somebody to wake up their mental processes.

In the early days all I hoped was to make a living out of what I did best. But, since there's no real market for masturbation I had to fall back on my bass playing abilities.

In any offense you put me in, when things break down, I'm going to get outside the pocket and move ... West Coast, East Coast. It doesn't matter. I'm taking off if I have to, to make things happen.

You've got to be taught to be afraid Of people whose eyes are oddly made And people whose skin is a different shade.

I was at Barcelona for many years where I won a lot of things and achieved a lot of dreams. For these reasons it holds a special place in my life.