The reason that clichés become clichés is that they are the hammers and screwdrivers in the toolbox of communication.

There's a saying that all roads lead to Ankh-Morpork. And it's wrong. All roads lead away from Ankh-Morpork, but sometimes people just walk along them the wrong way.

The worst thing you can do is nothing.

There are times in life when people must know when not to let go. Balloons are designed to teach small children this.

Rincewind had always been happy to think of himself as a racist. The One Hundred Meters, the Mile, the Marathon -- he'd run them all.

Rincewind could scream for mercy in nineteen languages, and just scream in another forty-four.

Tourist, Rincewind decided, meant ‘idiot.

...and the funny thing was that people who weren't entirely certain they were right always argued much louder than other people, as if the main person they were trying to convince were themselves.

The trouble with having an open mind, of course, is that people will insist on coming along and trying to put things in it.

I have, before now, waited for a pen to perform a macro.

You never knew about people, like you never knew how deep a pond was because all you saw was the top.

It’s been said that I have a problem admitting when I’m wrong. The main reason is because I never am.

To live with a mind full of grudges and jealousy, is to bargain to be constantly punished by negative feelings and emotions.

I find America falling in love with a TV show flattering and interesting, but at the same time a little sad.

I don't like any nastiness on tv unless it's coming from me.

The Egyptians would sacrifice red-headed men on the tomb of Osiris because red was the colour associated with Set, the Egyptian version of Satan.

My dad, like, he's the most trusting human in the world.

The problem with human beings is that they can't sit alone in a room for more than an hour.

I love kids, but they are a tough audience.

But I'm not looking forward to trying to strike out a lot of guys

When life hands you lemons, make whisky sours.