The reason why you know more funny dudes than funny chicks is that dudes are funnier than chicks.

Of course on air I use occasional hyperbole to tell a story.

You don't cruise the Internet looking for your name and walk away with a good feeling. So, I never do it.

If you want to have a good life, you should focus on your family, on your business, on your dog, on your fun, and you'll have a good life.

Don’t do your best, do my best.

I feel like I'm a time traveler from the future who has been sent back to be annoyed.

Asking someone in advance not judge you, is like asking someone in advance not to smell you.

No one is depressed when they're being chased by a bear.

I like the freedom of podcasting. With podcasting you can really mess around with the form and the format. You can do as much time as you like without having to pause for commercials.

You shouldn't be eating anything that takes six minutes to microwave.

If the media isnt slanted toward the Left, why is everyone so worried about my affiliation with Glenn Beck but not with Alec Baldwin?

In many ways, September feels like the busiest time of the year: The kids go back to school, work piles up after the summer's dog days, and Thanksgiving is suddenly upon us.

The best way to cheer yourself up is to try to cheer somebody else up.

I just feel that the only power I have is setting a good example.

My personal style is a mixture of, like, girly, throwback, like retro '50s pin-ups, floral, like hippies, like anything feminine, and like flirty.

Rather, to change a habit, you must keep the old cue, and deliver the old reward, but insert a new routine.

The whole life story of Jesus, on the human side, is the life story of One who lived by faith.

Later on when it became a routine it was not as exciting I'll admit that. The first three years were wonderful, the rest were just money making and having fun.

Differences of power are always manifested in asymmetrical access.

The pressure of the Olympic Games is real overwhelming.

If you look at it that way, then you start thinking about the basic things, which are jobs not jails, and education not incarceration.