The revolution I was starting where I thought I could yell at 200 people in a bar every night and change the world didn't quite happen.

Race, Religion, Ethnic Pride, Nationalism does nothing but teach you how to hate people you have never met

You never hear in the news, "200 killed today when Atheist rebels took heavy shelling from the Agnostic stronghold in the north."

If you're offended by any word in any language, it's probably because your parents were unfit to raise a child.

There's no such thing as addiction, there's only things that you enjoy doing more than life.

There's only two types of people who are against drugs: the people who have never done drugs and the people who really sucked at doing drugs.

I am a very mediocre intellect, at best, and I am smarter than most people I know - and that terrifies me.

Shouldn't the long-term goal of any society be complete unemployment?

One UK paper described me as a "miserablist", a word I'd never heard before or since. I looked it up and it means someone who can only be happy when they are miserable. Perfect.

I think a lot of women look at prostitutes like they're scabs crossing an union picket line, where they go: You can't just go out and sell it for what it's worth, we're holding out for so much more!

What if I don't want a leader? Where does that vote go? I do good on my own. I don't want to be led.

A true friend is like an umbrella that opens her heart to protect you on those rainy days.

I feel connected to my generation through the music, but I also fear for us. We're in a very self-destructive state where we're addicted to outside opinions and we all feel like we have fans.

I love doing comedy. Absolutely love it. After 'Wedding Crashers, ' people suddenly realized that it was something I could do.

Telling my children was the toughest part. But that's when you get strong, because you have to be strong for other people.

We're out there somewhere between the known and the unknown, trying to reel in both for a closer look.

The spirit of punk-cabaret is that you feel that you can truly be all of who you are.

Friends that you have known for a long time and love very dearly never seem to grow old.

A talent for drama is not a talent for writing, but is ability to articulate human relationships.

The community has no bribe that will tempt a wise man.

If I am not elected, I imagine that I will ask Harvard to let me back.