The rich man and his daughter are soon parted.

Of all the home remedies, a good wife is best.

Next to a circus there ain't nothing that packs up and tears out faster than the Christmas spirit.

Nobody can be as agreeable as an uninvited guest.

The fellow that owns his own home is always just coming out of a hardware store.

The safe way to double your money is to fold it over once and put it in your pocket.

Nobody ever forgets where he buried the hatchet.

If you haven't seen your wife smile at a traffic cop, you haven't seen her smile her prettiest.

The fellow that agrees with everything you say is either a fool or he is getting ready to skin you.

The hardest thing is to take less when you can get more.

It is pretty hard to tell what does bring happiness; poverty and wealth have both failed.

Most people like praise . . . When it is really deserved most people expand under it into richer and better selves.

In the bad old days there were three easy ways of losing money - racing being the quickest women the pleasantest and farming the most certain.

Love has three kinds of origin, namely: suffering, friendship and love. A human love has a corporal and intellectual origin.

I'm walking insecurity. Without all this makeup, I look like a refugee when I get up in the morning.... I generally look like one major bowwow. I mean arf.

Most of my friends love going out, but I have to get a lot of sleep. If I don't, it shows up on my skin and under my eyes.

If we are going to save our hides, we need to start with democracy.

I consider anybody a twerp who hasn't read the greatest American short story, which is 'Occurrence at Owl Creek Bridge,' by Ambrose Bierce.

To live without loving is not really to live.

Maimed but still magnificent... Europe's mightiest medieval cathedral.

The belief in a satanic kingdom exists today only where religious and theological traditions keep this believe alive.