The safe way to double your money is to fold it over once and put it in your pocket.

Of all the home remedies, a good wife is best.

Next to a circus there ain't nothing that packs up and tears out faster than the Christmas spirit.

Nobody can be as agreeable as an uninvited guest.

The fellow that owns his own home is always just coming out of a hardware store.

Nobody ever forgets where he buried the hatchet.

If you haven't seen your wife smile at a traffic cop, you haven't seen her smile her prettiest.

The fellow that agrees with everything you say is either a fool or he is getting ready to skin you.

The hardest thing is to take less when you can get more.

It is pretty hard to tell what does bring happiness; poverty and wealth have both failed.

No one can feel as helpless as the owner of a sick goldfish.

The truth, in the right hands, can be a very flexible tool.

Because she was a blank mural and you wrote all over her.

On the day after Christmas, some store or another will always take out and ad saying there are only 364 shopping days to Christmas. No one is amused.

Dictators free themselves, but they enslave the people!

If my time on earth were through and she must face the world without me, is the love I gave her in the past gonna be enough to last?

Serenity is the final word of all the teachings; reflection is the response to all manifestations.

I live in sin, to kill myself I live; no longer my life my own, but sin's; my good is given to me by heaven, my evil by myself, by my free will, of which I am deprived.

Mr. Arthur Ashe, he was good. I read some of his books. He knew about everything, but he was real quiet and didn't talk much. I never met him.

Embarrassment has a lot to do with thinking too much. Let it go. Nobody cares as much as you think they do.

The men in Vietnam weren't allowed to fight the war with any kind of concern to win by the government. It was like a war of attrition.