The school had a big problem with drugs... especially Class A.

If you're being chased by a police dog, try not to go through a tunnel, then on to a little seesaw, then jump through a hoop of fire. They're trained for that!

You know the animal that kills the most people in the world? The Hepatitis Bee.

About a month before he died, my grandfather, we covered his back full of lard - after that he went downhill very quickly.

As a child I watched Mary Poppins so many times I suffered from a condition with my sight. Umdiddleiddleiddleumdiddle Eye.

My grandfather invented the cold air balloon... But it never really took off.

I've just finished my book, I wrote it on penguins. Come to think of it, paper would have been better.

I hate sitting in traffic, because I always get run over.

I went out with this girl the other night, she wore this real slinky number...She looked great going down the stairs.

If you're depressed and called Morgan spend the first half of the day in Germany for some positive affirmation.

Most of my relatives are police marksmen, apart from my grandad who was a bank robber. He died recently, surrounded by his family.

I suppose life is what you believe it to be. Perhaps believing in life is its true nature.

When reality hurts, make sure to soar above the dream-stained sky!

Kelsey flopped next to him, propping her elbow on the back of the couch so she was facing him. "Do you have something against happiness?""Yes. Don't tell anyone, but I moonlight as the Grinch.

I want to feel intoxicated from inhaling the scent of you.

The easiest way for readers to connect with characters and feel sympathy is to make the character entertaining, sympathetic and likeable.

She'll carelessly cut you and laugh while you're bleeding.

She [ Elizabeth II] is, you know, "Do-what-you're-told, Lady". But in the Commonwealth, she is much more than just a figurehead.

You might not be able to control your circumstances but you can control your response to your circumstances.

I'll take a nice assist any day over points.

I stood there watching Phoebe arrange the pillows and the sheets. She isn't thinking that I... I mean, she doesn't think that she and I would... WHAT?