The seaman tells stories of winds, the ploughman of bulls; the soldier details his wounds, the shepherd his sheep.

Originality is the fine art of remembering what you hear but forgetting where you heard it.

Equal opportunity means everyone will have a fair chance at being incompetent.

Competence, like truth, beauty, and contact lenses, is in the eye of the beholder.

Don't believe in miracles - depend on them.

An economist is an expert who will know tomorrow why the things he predicted yesterday didn't happen today.

Every girl should use what Mother Nature gave her before Father Time takes it away.

When in doubt or danger, run in circles, scream and shout.

A man doesn't know what he knows until he knows what he doesn't know.

There are two kinds of failures: those who thought and never did, and those who did and never thought

Some problems are so complex that you have to be highly intelligent and well informed just to be undecided about them.

Literature is a microscope

Glory is reserved for the twisted minds.

God grades on the Cross not on the curve.

This is still a man's profession, with a lot of men who intellectually and emotionally have not accepted that the military could be women's work.

Whatever you put in your mouth, make sure it's high quality.

At the core of every child is an intact human.

Yes, I'm alive," Mat said. "I'm usually pretty good at staying alive. I've only failed one time that I can remember, and it hardly counts.

As an alcoholic, you will violate your standards quicker than you can lower them.

Plus, 40% of our debt is owned by foreign interest. I can't support a plan that passes along cost burden to our children and makes us more reliant on foreign dollars.

And Caesar shall go forth.