The secret of long life is double careers. One to about age sixty, then another for the next thirty years.

The consumer isn't a moron; she is your wife.

A good advertisement is one which sells the product without drawing attention to itself.

The pursuit of excellence is less profitable than the pursuit of bigness, but it can be more satisfying.

If you ever find a man who is better than you are - hire him. If necessary, pay him more than you pay yourself.

The more informative your advertising, the more persuasive it will be.

I did not feel 'evil' when I wrote advertisements for Puerto Rico. They helped attract industry and tourists to a country which had been living on the edge of starvation for 400 years.

Good copy can't be written with tongue in cheek, written just for a living. You've got to believe in the product.

Our business is infested with idiots who try to impress by using pretentious jargon.

If each of us hires people who are smaller than we are, we shall become a company of dwarfs. But if each of us hires people who are bigger than we are, we shall become a company of giants.

Tell the truth, but make the truth fascinating.

Managing your emotions doesn't mean you don't express yourself

.... does a fair trial necessarily amount to a fair outcome?

Old radicals never changed. They just got law degrees and updated their bag of tricks.

She knew with chilling and absolute certainty she was next.

Humans are fascinated by emotional material. We are always intrigued by the news and tragic events that are covered in the TV, radio, and newspapers.

Disturbances in society are never more fearful than when those who are stirring up the trouble can use the pretext of religion to mask their true designs.

Life seems completely different, exciting and worthwhile. Your only hope and security is in knowing that they are a part of your life.

I tap a Malediction out of the box, fire it up, and puff. It tastes like a tire fire in a candy factory next door to a strip club. The best cigarettes ever.

Being a functioning alcoholic is kind of like being a paraplegic lap dancer: You can do it, just not as well as the others, really.