The secret to my success is actually simple: I failed so many times that succeeding eventually became a mathematical certainty.

It is good to know one's enemy.It is better to know one's self.

I don't believe in your God. And he sure as hell doesn't believe in me.

Writer's Block: making authors miserable since the Stone Age.

You are my only friend in the world, and I want to talk to you. Or, perhaps, be silent with you.

Those who say that I am being punished are saying that god can't think of anything more vengeful than cancer for a heavy smoker.

Really, the only thing that makes sense is to strive for greater collective enlightenment.

Man is neither angel nor beast.

Just look for a strong beginning and a strong ending and get moving.

I played maybe one and a half games of Little League. The whole atmosphere of anxious parents and more anxious children was just too much for me.

I think that you take the path of least resistance. And for a lot of people comedy is that path. I mean, even against mainstream, it's easier to sell a comedy than a drama.

Before embarking on important undertakings sit quietly calm your senses and thoughts and meditate deeply. You will then be guided by the great creative power of Spirit.

Some of your griefs you have cured, And the sharpest you still have survived, But what torments of grief you've endured From evils that never arrived.

I am one of the best five writers to come out of English music since the war.