The shelf life of the average trade book is somewhere between milk and yogurt.

I never eat in a restaurant that's over a hundred feet off the ground and won't stand still.

Many Texas barbecue fanatics have a strong belief in the beneficial properties of accumulated grease.

The most remarkable thing about my mother is that for thirty years she served the family nothing but leftovers. The original meal has never been found.

As far as I'm concerned, 'whom' is a word that was invented to make everyone sound like a butler.

Perhaps we've time to have a look at the Number Thirty-One bus queue before we turn in.

I'm in favor of liberalizing immigration because of the effect it would have on restaurants. I'd let just about everybody in except the English.

Every good idea sooner or later degenerates into hard work.

Did you know that five out of three people have trouble with fractions.

I never did very well in math - I could never seem to persuade the teacher that I hadn't meant my answers literally.

Math was always my bad subject. I couldn't convince my teachers that many of my answers were meant ironically.

Perhaps that was a thing about attractive women: A rejection demanded their respect, made them trust you more.

The spirit of service is the heart of humanity.

Prayer is a phenomenal tool for power, prudence and prosperity.

Powerful words, a soft embrace, & facial expression that can warm your heart. Growth shows you to appreciate what you didn't before.

Life's too short to live someone else's

I think Jeremiah is for our times. But whether the church in the west will listen to the Word of God today any more than in the chaos of 7th century BC middle east... Only God knows.

When a hunter is in a tree stand with high moral values and with the proper hunting ethics and richer for the experience, that hunter is 20 feet closer to God.

I think a lot comes from having the experience of doing stand-up comedy. It allows you to figure out the psychology of an audience; what things are funny and not.

I set it off with my own rhyme / cause I'm as ill as a convict who kills for phone time

Success is no accident. It is hard work, perseverance, learning, studying, sacrifice and most of all, love of what you are doing or learning to do