The shortest feedback loop I can think of is doing improvisation in front of an audience.

I bought a cactus. A week later it died. And I got depressed, because I thought, Damn. I am less nurturing than a desert.

How fast does a zebra have to run before it looks gray.

I wear dark sunglasses when I want my head to look more like a limousine.

The clothes make the man. The children working in sweatshops make the clothes. Therefore, the children working in sweatshops make the man.

A lot of people like lollipops. I don't like lollipops. To me, a lollipop is hard candy plus garbage. I don't need a handle. Just give me the candy.

Earrings are the same as sneezes: Two is okay, but ten in a row is annoying. If you have two then, God bless you.

The worst time to have a heart attack is during a game of charades.

The digital camera is a great invention because it allows us to reminisce. Instantly.

A drunk driver is very dangerous. So is a drunk backseat driver if he's persuasive.

When you have a fat friend there are no see-saws, only catapults.

Regular people have such a hard time listening to the low hum of instinct.

I rebel; therefore I exist.

It was generally believed that Catholics were not interested in arts and science graduate schools. They weren't going to be intellectuals. And so I put the theses to the test. And they all collapsed.

We must ask nothing of artists but to be of their own time.

Dig -- the mostly uncouth -- language of grace.

Inevitably in any work you do I think that there is a sense of continuity, and I like that.

If somebody sings a song that I wrote, I feel like its a nice point of validation for the song, because it shows that the song is able to stand on its own. I like that.

Why go somewhere else and start up all over again?

Kids play pretend. I think that kids can be the best actors.

My parents know I was outgoing as a child, and whenever people came over I'd automatically do impressions of them as soon as they left; it was my mom's favorite thing.