The side's all right, but my bloody knees are killing me!

When I listen and enjoy the deepest silence I hear the sound of universal love and lose myself completely.

I didn't know I was really alive in this world until I felt things hard enough to kill for 'em...

I regret not having had more time with my kids when they were growing up.

Sometimes a thong completely betrays you.

My father said, "Okay, enough with the Jewish school." He put me into a public school and he said, "If you are the first one in your class, that means the school is bad." That was his humor.

I try not to punish the audience by making them listen to too much acoustic guitar.

Jokes do finish themselves. I really do see them as ongoing conversations about personal themes that I ruminate on.

America has its roots in a tradition of risk-taking pioneers. In more conservative Europe, if you fail in business or actually end up going to jail for it, you're finished as a businessman for good.

Alcohol is like Photoshop for real life

We will compromise and compromise and compromise but we will never be compromised.