The single simplest reason why human space flight is necessary is this, stated as plainly as possible: keeping all your breeding pairs in one place is a retarded way to run a species.

You're miserable, edgy and tired. You're in the perfect mood for journalism.

Scotch whisky is made from barley and the morning dew on angel's nipples.

If you believe that your thoughts originate inside your brain, do you also believe that television shows are made inside your television set?

Read comics. All comics. And then cut them open to steal their power.

I want a tattoo over my heart that reads TRY HARDER YOU LAZY PARAMEDIC SHITBAG OR I WILL HAUNT YOUR BEDROOM FOREVER

That means that the universe is two-dimensional. Matter, energy, time, you, me and the floor are holograms.

Wolves ate even mighty hunters, for there was no honor or code among predators, and everyone's guts steam the same way when torn open on a cold night.

Drinking is fun! It makes me feel horrible and sexy!

What if I left my memory in the future and I have to catch up to it?

Writing is basically a job for people who like punching themselves in the face, I’m pretty sure.

The foundation of joyful independence is being content with yourself

The forbidden things were a great influence on my life. I was forbidden from reading A Catcher in the Rye.

We've got to do everything in the world to make sure we kill Frank Gore's head. We want him running sideways. We want his head sideways.

I have four kids in a private school who have not yet entered college. Their tuition is what keeps me motivated. Life is simple sometimes.

Never underestimate the power of your actions. With one small gesture you can change a person's life. For better or worse. God puts us all in each other's lives to impact one another in some way.

Ideas are more powerful than people.

You can never get the smell of smoke out. Like the smell of failure in life.

I'm hard to get rid of." He smiled. All Tegan's suspicions about the boy came flooding back. "So it seems," she replied icily.

So you’re saying the afterlife is hard on the libido? FYI, that’s probably not a good bullet point for your recruiting brochure.

People think I have an interesting walk. Hell, I'm just trying to hold my gut in.