The slightest acquaintance with history shows that powerful republics are the most warlike and unscrupulous of nations.

Speak when you are angry and you will make the best speech you will ever regret.

The most affectionate creature in the world is a wet dog.

War is God's way of teaching Americans geography.

In our civilization, and under our republican form of government, intelligence is so highly honored that it is rewarded by exemption from the cares of office.

Mayonnaise: One of the sauces which serve the French in place of a state religion.

Admiral. That part of a warship which does the talking while the figurehead does the thinking.

Spring beckons! All things to the call respond; the trees are leaving and cashiers abscond.

NEPOTISM, n. Appointing your grandmother to office for the good of the party.

Divorce: a resumption of diplomatic relations and rectification of boundaries.

Clairvoyant, n.: A person, commonly a woman, who has the power of seeing that which is invisible to her patron - namely, that he is a blockhead.

Adding your own piece of knowledge to the vast knowledge of the humanrace could be a sufficient reason for having existed.

Two things a wise man never discloses to the public

Truth is in the guidance of the Coven. Is it a curse or a blessing?

I don't have to make examples out of players to establish my own place. I don't feel like I have to.

Roger, Tranquility. We copy you on the ground. You've got a bunch of guys about to turn blue. We're breathing again. Thanks a lot.

Misfortune makes of certain souls a vast desert through which rings the voice of God.

Managers are obsessed with the game. It's very, very difficult, if not impossible, to live a balanced lifestyle.

If I ever leave this place- I'll make sure I'm better HERE first.

You know that feeling you get when your leg falls asleep? Well, I suddenly had that feeling in my spine. Like termites were chewing through the marrow in my backbone.

My philosophy? Have a laugh for as long as you can and don't get run over. Or stabbed.