The slime of all my yesterdays rots in the hollow of my skull.

Please don’t expect me to always be good and kind and loving. There are times when I will be cold and thoughtless and hard to understand.

If I didn’t think, I’d be much happier.

If you expect nothing from anybody, you’re never disappointed.

I ride earth's burning carousel. Day in, day out.

What horrifies me most is the idea of being useless: well-educated, brilliantly promising, and fading out into an indifferent middle age.

Go out and do something. It isn’t your room that’s a prison, it’s yourself.

I desire the things that will destroy me in the end.

And by the way, everything in life is writable about if you have the outgoing guts to do it, and the imagination to improvise. The worst enemy to creativity is self-doubt.

If neurotic is wanting two mutually exclusive things at one and the same time, then I'm neurotic as hell.

Perhaps some day I'll crawl back home, beaten, defeated. But not as long as I can make stories out of my heartbreak, beauty out of sorrow.

The manlier you are, the harder it is to understand what a woman wants: there is not a hint of female brain in you.

He's cheap and cheesy, coz he loves you. If you want to know how 'expensive' he has been, just check his inbox, see how may gals he disappointed for you.

I'm not really superstitious - I don't have any lucky charms or a mascot.

Writing humor in my column isn't as dangerous as performing it. If I fail in front of a live audience, the humiliation is as great as anything a human being can suffer.

I felt like people really do their best work when they're having a really good time and feel safe to push the envelope and make a jackass out of themselves.

That we have great men in our time and recent times is not because of our educational system, but rather in spite of it. They are the ones the teachers couldn't spoil.

Consistently investigate what gives other people energy. Be the fan that fuels it.

You've got Corey Feldman doing his thing, and the problem is, they're trying to be pop stars. You can't compare Salty to any of the other actors out there playing music

Men make their own history