The small part of ignorance that we arrange and classify we give the name of knowledge.

Speak when you are angry and you will make the best speech you will ever regret.

The most affectionate creature in the world is a wet dog.

War is God's way of teaching Americans geography.

In our civilization, and under our republican form of government, intelligence is so highly honored that it is rewarded by exemption from the cares of office.

Mayonnaise: One of the sauces which serve the French in place of a state religion.

Admiral. That part of a warship which does the talking while the figurehead does the thinking.

Spring beckons! All things to the call respond; the trees are leaving and cashiers abscond.

NEPOTISM, n. Appointing your grandmother to office for the good of the party.

Divorce: a resumption of diplomatic relations and rectification of boundaries.

Clairvoyant, n.: A person, commonly a woman, who has the power of seeing that which is invisible to her patron - namely, that he is a blockhead.

And now it appeared that there was a mysterious Queen clothed by rumour with dread and wonderful attributes, and commonly known by the impersonal but, to my mind, rather awesome title of She.

When you spend time in the presence of God, you will experience everlasting peace and joy.

Open avowal of dictatorship is much less dangerous than sham democracy. The first one can fight

My job is to give people who work hard all week something to enjoy on Saturdays and Wednesdays.

Every member Congress is under the threat of being destroyed by the Israeli lobby.

My fans expect me to be great and keep being great.

I'm not scared of animals, except for rats. I'll break down in tears if I see a rat!

You have to make sure you have the characters you want. That's really the most complicated part.

In Japan, there is less a culture of preserving old buildings than in Europe.

When we plant trees, we plant the seeds of peace and seeds of hope.