The sport of skiing consists of wearing three thousand dollars worth of clothes and equipment and driving two hundred miles in the snow in order to stand around at a bar and get drunk.

Giving money and power to government is like giving whiskey and car keys to teenage boys.

There are a number of mechanical devices which increase sexual arousal, particularly in women. Chief among these is the Mercedes-Benz 380SL convertible.

Mercedes Benz : A mechanical device that increases sexual arousal in women.

Tabasco sauce is to bachelor cooking what forgiveness is to sin.

A firm, hearty handshake gives a good first impression, and you'll never be forgiven if you don't live up to it.

At the core of liberalism is the spoiled child — miserable, as all spoiled children are, unsatisfied, demanding, ill-disciplined, despotic and useless. Liberalism is a philosophy of sniveling brats.

There's a whiff of the lynch mob or the lemming migration about any overlarge concentration of like-thinking individuals, no matter how virtuous their cause.

Even very young children need to be informed about dying. Explain the concept of death very carefully to your child. This will make threatening him with it much more effective.

Watching Republicans in Washington is like watching lemmings, if lemmings jumped into cesspools instead of off cliffs. Splash! There goes Mark Foley!

Authority has always attracted the lowest elements in the human race

Konig couldn't help but think of the man as a slab of walking muscle with all the intellect of a pair of cheap shoes.

Knowing the why is vastly more important than knowing the how.

Historically, the coupling of president and Speaker has been a tricky one that encourages a choreography both quick-footed and wary

America's answer to the intolerant man is diversity - the very diversity which our heritage of religious freedom has inspired.

I think it takes an introspective person to want to go into the theater and see the dark side of themselves.

Only the element of chance is needed to make war a gamble, and that element is never absent.

I find inspiration in everything.

If you are not able to be silent, you will not be able to speak well.

Not only did I feel hurt that she [Sarah Palin] sort of misdiagnosed all of these veterans, but I think she sort of was wrong in the way she talked about the issue.

I think it is hard to find happiness, as a whole, in anything. The days of tender youth are gone. I think you can be delirious in your youth, but as you get older, things happen.