The stationmaster's whiskers are of a Victorian bushiness and give the impression of having been grown under glass.

Why don't you get a haircut? You look like a chrysanthemum.

There is only one cure for gray hair. It was invented by a Frenchman. It is called the guillotine.

There is no surer foundation for a beautiful friendship than a mutual taste in literature.

It is never difficult to distinguish between a Scotsman with a grievance and a ray of sunshine.

I always advise people never to give advice.

The fascination of shooting as a sport depends almost wholly on whether you are at the right or wrong end of the gun.

Gussie, a glutton for punishment, stared at himself in the mirror.

It was my Uncle George who discovered that alcohol was a food well in advance of modern medical thought.

As we grow older and realize more clearly the limitations of human happiness, we come to see that the only real and abiding pleasure in life is to give pleasure to other people.

The voice of Love seemed to call to me, but it was a wrong number.

If life has a base that it stands upon, if it is a bowl that one fills and fills and fills - than my bowl without a doubt stands upon this memory.

Today was a difficult day.Tomorrow will be better.'-Mr. Slinger

God knows I'm no the thing I should be Nor am I even the thing I could be.

The social-media landscape changes incredibly fast, so you have to be open-minded and nimble to keep up with it.

Hillary Clinton did not represent, on a lot of policy matters, what the American public perceived to be as a change.

One does simply what one can in order to apply what one knows .

It used to hurt me that people thought I didn't have the technique and the temperament to play Test cricket.

The dog ran into the kitchen, stuck his nose in Grandma's crotch, and snuffled. Dang," Grandma said. "Guess my new perfume really works. I'm gonna have to try it out at the seniors meeting.

Supreme happiness will be the greatest cause of misery, and the perfection of wisdom the occassion of folly.

If you have inner peace, nobody can force you to be a slave to the outer reality.