The surest sign that you haven't any sense is to argue with one who hasn't.

Originality is the fine art of remembering what you hear but forgetting where you heard it.

Equal opportunity means everyone will have a fair chance at being incompetent.

Competence, like truth, beauty, and contact lenses, is in the eye of the beholder.

Don't believe in miracles - depend on them.

An economist is an expert who will know tomorrow why the things he predicted yesterday didn't happen today.

Every girl should use what Mother Nature gave her before Father Time takes it away.

When in doubt or danger, run in circles, scream and shout.

A man doesn't know what he knows until he knows what he doesn't know.

There are two kinds of failures: those who thought and never did, and those who did and never thought

Some problems are so complex that you have to be highly intelligent and well informed just to be undecided about them.

We should not only attend church but must have a ministry in the church as well

From heresy, frenzy and jealousy, good Lord deliver me.

The average man cannot believe that an artist may be as serious and highminded an observer of life as the professed man of science.

Before I traveled my road I was my road.

A white person was by definition somebody. Other people needed, across their hearts, one steel rib.

I realized that improvisers should probably always have time off. But musicians are always gigging and never have a chance to stop for a minute - unless something drastic occurs.

As soon as you publish a book and the reader reads it, they're making an extension of your brain with their brain.

The source of joy is within yourself. Unless and until you seek yourself you cannot seek God.

The only thing that can console one for being poor is extravagance.

How can I have morning sickness when I don't get up till noon?