The system is not perfect. Until it's perfect, let's do away with the death penalty.

I even went so far as to become a Southern Baptist for a while, until I realized that they didn't hold 'em under long enough.

Money can buy you a fine dog, but only love can make him wag his tail.

I admit I was drinking a Guinness... but I did not swallow.

And I think musicians can better run this state than politicians. And, hell, beauticians can better run the state than politicians.

Musicians can run this state better than politicians. We won't get a lot done in the mornings, but we'll work late and be honest.

Poly means more than one, and ticks are bloodsucking parasites.

Well, I just said that Jesus and I were both Jewish and that neither of us ever had a job, we never had a home, we never married and we traveled around the countryside irritating people.

I just want Texas to be number one in something other than executions, toll roads and property taxes.

When a stray animal crosses your path, it may be as close to God as you're going to get in this lifetime.

People may surprise you with unexpected kindness. Dogs have a depth of loyalty that often we seem unworthy of. But the love of a cat is a blessing, a privilege in this world.

One of the greatest lies ever told is that there’s no power in vulnerability.

Once a minute passes it can never be reclaimed.

Intellectual men who quickly wolf down whatever nourishment is necessary for their bodies with a kind of disdain, may be very rational and have a noble intelligence, but they are not men of taste.

The price of a work of art has nothing to do with what the work of art is, can do, or is worth on an existential, alchemical level.

If you want to see God laugh, make a plan.

I had a great time in my youth and I still feel youthful. I've no desire to look as though I'm in my 20s.

We cannot avoid growing old; but we can avoid growing cold.

It is imperative that young white men and women study the black American history. It is imperative that blacks and whites study the Asian American history.

Everybody in the media thinks the New York Times is the bible. So whatever is in it is safe to run and is gospel, and is unchallengeable. It's infallible.

I didn't have time to sit down and look at the work of a year and choose what to type.