The thing about having an audience right there laughing is that critics can write what they want, but the proof is right there in front of you.

There are only three things women need in life: food, water, and compliments.

Right now, my job is that I'm like an ambulance chaser. I've got to look for movies with white guys falling out of them.

Everyone has favorite criminals. Mine are pimps. We can all rob a bank; we can all sell drugs. Being a pimp is a whole other thing.

So, to say Barack Obama is progress is saying that he's the first black person that is qualified to be president. That's not black progress. That's white progress.

Wealth is not about having a lot of money; it's about having a lot of options.

The advantage that my children have is that my children are encountering the nicest white people that America has ever produced. Let’s hope America keeps producing nicer white people.

I don't get high, but sometimes I wish I did. That way, when I messed up in life I would have an excuse. But right now there's no rehab for stupidity.

Most people don't realize this, but you can eat organic, all natural, gluten-free food without telling everyone around you.

Smart is knowing if you're dumb. Knowing when to shut up and to listen to people that are smarter than you.

You know the world is messed up when the tallest man in the NBA is Chinese, the best golfer is black, and the best rapper is white.

Most people do not pray they only beg.

I want to be adopted by the French. I want to go to live in Paris.

The fact that a man has no claim on others ... does not preclude or prohibit good will among men and does not make it immoral to offer or to accept voluntary, non-sacrificial assistance.

For the most part, people don't know who I am.

My dad was president of the Finlandia Foundation for a number of years and there was a period of time when he tried to get me in. I'm glad I finally got in.

There's no cap on success. The jury stays out till you take your last breath.

I've not only pursued the American dream, I've achieved it. I suppose we could say the last few years, I've also achieved the American nightmare.

Hence I have no mercy or compassion in me for a society that will crush people, and then penalize them for not being able to stand up under the weight.

Left alone, the earth maintains its own fertility, in accordance with the orderly cycle of plant and animal life.

It's always good to win a Test match and if you win it comfortably, it can leave a few psychological marks on opposition sides.