The thing about hipsters is that they take very seriously trying to make themselves look like they don't take themselves seriously.

We're not in an information age anymore. We're in the information management age.

Nerds get caught up in minutiae, because there is a tremendous and fulfilling sense of control in understanding every single detail of a thing more than any other living creature.

Bowling is all physics and energy distribution. It's F = ma. So it is actually one of the most science-y sports, because it literally is just a ball and a surface and objects to knock down.

When you hang around a lot of comedians long enough, you realize there's a certain gene, in every comedian. It's why we get hyper-analytical about things.

I do seem like the kind of guy who'd be obsessive about Rubik's Cubes.

No matter what tricks you use or what decisions you make, go easy on yourself as someone who's on a never-ending quest for improvement.

Steal moments of happiness if you have to, and then collect them until they are the dominant images in your psyche.

I almost think of nerd brains as rattlesnake venom; like, you can milk it. You can milk the pulpy venom out of the nerd brain and use it for good if you want to.

Humans cannot produce viable offspring with our closest animal cousin: the chimpanzee. We cannot impregnate a chimp. So you know what that means? No condoms.

I've gone from being bullied by jocks as a kid to being bullied by nerds as an adult.

Impact does not obey hard work but principles.

The opposite of play isn’t work. It’s depression.

To be a strong and empathetic person always requires us to trust that God will send angels to the people's heart we tried to reach, but couldn't.

Don’t be afraid of being yourself, but be afraid of being somebody else.

All reformations seem formidable before they are attempted.

The next step after cheap is free, and after free is disposable.

Revenge is a kind of wild justice.

Kitsch is more dangerous than it looks when taken to the extreme.

Mean-spirited mediocrities, especially those with a smattering of learning, are the most likely to be opinionated. Only strong minds know how to correct their opinions and abandon a bad position.

I know I wanted to be with somebody and have children. My heart comes before my work.