The thing about improvisation is that it's not about what you say. It's listening to what other people say. It's about what you hear.

On my first day in New York a guy asked me if I knew where Central Park was. When I told him I didn't, he said: Do you mind if I mug you here?

When I wake up on a Monday morning and I realise I don't have to go and work at the civil service, I really think I've won.

My school days were the happiest days of my life; which should give you some indication of the misery I've endured over the past twenty-five years.

I was trying to organise my DVDs into a sort of chronological order, and I am afraid that it all trailed off after the Sixties.

I don't consider myself a fashion victim. I consider fashion a victim of me.

I'll never forget my first experience of swede. It was at school and I thought I was getting mashed potato. I've never got over it.

I remember being fascinated by the very nature of comedy from the age of 10; why is this funny, and that isn't?

All disc jockeys are without talent. Noel Edmonds - I can't stand Noel Edmonds.

If you stay in a house and you go to the bathroom and there is no toilet paper, you can always slide down the banisters. Don't tell me you haven't done it.

I don't always vote in general elections, but I think I've always voted Labour.

Hey, our hair's the same color, " I said, eying us side by side in the mirror."Sure is, girlfriend." Eric grinned at me.

Since when has grafts, bribes to get your children into the higher institution become a Nigerian thing?

The moment you stop being humble is the moment you stop learning.

The lack of economic freedom could be a very major reason for loss of liberty, liberty of life.

Be king in your dreams. Make your vow that you will reach that position, with untarnished reputation, and make no other vow to distract your attention.

The equation of religion with belief is rather recent.

You must always work.

As long as the protagonist wants something, the audience will want something.

I can be capable of anything if I allow myself to be. I really realized what an obstacle I was being in my own life.

Poor people have big TV's. Rich people have big libraries.