The things we worry about the most are never the things that bite us. The sharpest teeth always take their nip of us when we are looking the other way.

The functions of intellect are insufficient without courage, love, friendship, compassion and empathy.

The whisper of the dusk is night shedding its husk.

Where there is cake, there is hope. And there is always cake.

Petting, scratching, and cuddling a dog could be as soothing to the mind and heart as deep meditation and almost as good for the soul as prayer.

Nothing is worse than being alone on the evening of the day when one's cow has exploded.

Only once in a generation does anything as fresh as a vomiting detective come along.

The hands of every clock are shears, trimming us away scrap by scrap, and every time piece with a digital readout blinks us towards implosion.

Most people tend to think the best of those who are blessed with beauty; we have difficulty imagining that physical perfection can conceal twisted emotions or a damaged mind.

Any drunk who has tried to put his car where a lamppost stands is a self-educated physicist.

Given my heritage and the ordeal of my childhood, I sometimes wonder why I myself am not insane. Maybe I am.

People ask you questions so you can reveal to them God’s intention

It also makes my father right again. How will I ever soar with the eagles if I'm surrounded by turkeys?

Silence means they [the audience] are paying attention. Even if I drop bombs and they're dead quiet, it's still okay. If they start talking, that's when you've lost them.

My future daughter is not going to go through what I did.

Pardon the way that I stare, there's nothing else to compare. The sight of you leaves me weak, there are no words left to speak.

In a country where women regard themselves as equal, they are not prepared to see men running the show themselves.

God made every man to have power to be mightier than the events round about him; to hold by his firm will the reigns by which all things are guided.

In fact, isn't it a joy - there is hardly a greater one - to find a new book, a living book, and to know that it will remain with you while life lasts?

Wars begin when you will, but they do not end when you please.

I just sit at a typewriter and curse a bit.